American Idol - 9 ª Season

"American Idol" - "Auditions: Boston" - January 13, 2010 The "American Idol" machine comes to the Bean to kick off the ninth season. Thousands of people came to Gillette Stadium for their shot at "Idol" glory. Janet is very excitable, likes to jump up and down in an unflattering belly shirt, and claims that she does really well on the "Idol" video game. Predictably, she is bad, singing an awful version of "Pocketful of Sunshine." (Do viewers really and truly never tire of this?) Four no's. Maddy is number 9 of 12 kids, she has several siblings with Down's Syndrome. She sings "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen and it's pretty nice, good pitch, a little breathy, and sort of earnest. They all like her and think she's got heart and soul. Four yes's. We get a bit of holding room hijinks from a happy dancing guy named Pat who likes to yell "holla." He is, of course, awful, singing "Womanizer." All no's and Randy tells him to stop singing forever. We get a quick montage of three women who make it through. Jennifer who jazzily scats her way through "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead." Deirdre who, I think, sings "Be With You" (by Mr. Big) in a sort of overheated way. And... Jess who does a smoky version of "People Get Ready." Amadeo is a big Italian family that we get to meet at a big pasta dinner. At the audition he tries to soak in the moment. He sings "Hoochie Coochie Man" with a lot of gusto. They like him, personally, and Simon wants to give someone like him a break. Four yes's. Derek says he's a very spiritual guy who likes to go on meditative walks. He literally stops to smell the flowers outside Government Center. He does a weird, nasally, many voiced version of "Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word." Simon says it was rubbish. Derek is sad that he won't be able to touch America. We get a montage of sad, crying rejects. Mere is another ball of energy, she likes anime and martial arts and is quirky and does a version of "Piece of My Heart" that is not good. Simon and Randy tell her she's not good. She gets upset and says singing is her life. Four no's. Two boys get through in quick succession. They are: Luke who impresses them with "Fall For You" and... Benjamin who croons "All My Loving" We meet angry Andrew who is mad about all the waiting. He finally gets in and he is bratty and obnoxious which is really too bad. His sulky weirdness tanks him since he actually does an oddly groovy, stylized version of "House of the Rising Sun" that is kind of swampy and theatrical. Kara says he shouldn't have such a bad attitude about waiting if he wants to be in show business in general and "Idol" in particular. She and Victoria Beckham are super annoyed by his arrogance and bad energy and think he doesn't have the goods to back it up. (Which is pretty funny.) Randy, Kara, and Victoria say no and Simon says he would've said yes. We get a montage of people talking about formal training as a prelude to two people, Bill and Michael who can carry a tune but are way over the top. This is a dream for Ashley who sings "If I Ain't Got You." She does a nice job. Kara loves her and thinks she's got commercial looks and voice and is her favorite today. Simon thinks she may have "it." Four yes's. Tyler has titanium plates in his arms and curly hair and although he's a drummer he wants to be a frontman. He seems nice and sings "Let's Get it On" well enough to get the ladies very excited and four yes's. Plus, Victoria loved his clothes. Simon says he will remember this audition. Ryan tells us 17 others got a yes as well. Day Two This hour we get a little Boston history and the inspirational stories and, of course, more deluded singers like.... Lisa who thinks she's a diva but who hits as many bad notes as good in her version of, oh no, "Vision of Love." She takes the abuse well. And... Ryan whose "Ring of Fire" is not hot. And...a montage of people with tough accents and eccentricities. Mike pilots the speed boat "Codzilla" in the Boston harbor. His version of "Yesterday" sounds fine, unremarkable, not bad at all but not amazing, but good enough to get him through with three yes's. (Randy is the one who said no saying he didn't think his voice was that great.) Katie is from Connecticut and is really close to her grandmother, who has Alzheimer's disease. We see Katie care for her and sing to her. She sings "At Last" and is strong and confident. Four yes's. (She calls grandma and everyone has a nice cry.) Joshua sings "Bless the Broken Road" in a sweet sort of nasally voice. Victoria thinks he has a nice little voice. Simon thinks he was forgettable. They taunt him while trying to make him more assertive. He gets four yes's just by being good-natured. We get a montage of bad singers, bad songs, forgotten lyrics, etc But they all take it well. . Justin is a cancer survivor. He sings "Feelin' Good" and they all like his voice, looks, and presence. Four yes's. We get a montage of Victoria Beckham's generally nice and supportive demeanor. Norberto sings "Every Time We Touch" but keeps forgetting the words. Victoria says she used to forget words too. Simon hated it and the fact that he sang it with a beard. He thought it was too weird. Bosa is Nigerian-American and has seven siblings and seems very nice. He sings "You Look So Good in Love." It's fine. Simon says he was forgettable. Victoria disagrees and gets annoyed with Simon for him rolling his eyes. He gets three yes's. (Simon says no.) They tell him he has work to do. The last contestant is Leah by her own description an overprotected, church-going gal from Long Island who has always expressed herself musically. She sings "Blue Skies" and she's got a strong voice, maybe a little overbearing and strident in places but also passages of nice tone and phrasing. Four yes's. We get a montage of happy, joyful yes's. (Ryan says there were 31 overall).

"American Idol" - "Auditions: Atlanta" - Jan. 13, 2010 The auditions go south and we get friendly twangs, bad singers, cheerleaders and more on a night when Mary J. Blige is our guest judge. Keia a former Miss Congeniality gets four yes's for what is normally an "Idol" no-no, singing a Celine Dion song, "My Heart Will Go On." We get three quick looks at three girl singers who make their way through: Miriam, Noel, and Tisha. Jermaine who takes care of his mom with spina bifida and sings in church gets through to Hollywood with a groovy take on Joan Osborne's "One of Us." Randy says it's the best vocal they've seen yet. Christy is a TV show host. She sings "Love is a Battlefield." They don't love it. Four no's. We get a montage of no's to Mary J. Blige's "I'm Goin' Down." Vanessa is a bridge jumper, which we see her doing in her bikini with her friends. She's from a small town in Tennesee where we get to see her hang out with her mom and talk about being stuck. She sings "Wagon Wheel." She's very nervous. Simon's worried she's not prepared for Hollywood but she gets four yes's because they really like her and her country style. Jesse from Alabama has had many close calls with death. He will not be having a close with Hollywood after he gets four no's for his versions of "The River" and "If Tomorrow Never Comes" by Garth Brooks which brings Mary J. to tears, of laughter, before he even starts. (He was not good but I think she was just giddy and punch drunk.) Holly has a dress that looks like a guitar. Sigh. She sings "You Ain't Woman Enough to Take My Man." She's not amazing but she's not horrible, but the outfit is just ridiculous. Mary doesn't get it but she gets three yes's. We get a montage of bad singers. Mallorie sings "Piece of My Heart" well enough to get four yes's. We get a montage of yes's. Antonio aka "Skii Bow Ski" is a flamboyant doofus. Who, in an exciting change of pace, can actually sing doign "Heard it Through the Grapevine." He overdoes the shtick in a big way though and totally turns off Simon. Randy tells him to lose all the nonsense. He gets three yes's. Lauren and Carmen are BFF's so you know this will end badly. And it does when Lauren sings sweetly but softly and Carmen well and strongly. Simon thinks Carmen is a better singer but together they're a fun team. Randy, Mary, and Kara say yes to Carmen and no to Lauren. Simon says he would've said no to both of them. Montage of bad singers. Simon steps out for a break, letting the other three field a few on their own. Bryan is a cop. He sings "Superstar," "in the style of Ruben Studdard." He's got a nice tone and a bit of country soul to voice. He gets three yes's. Lamar is a huge Mary J. fan. He says no matter what the judges say he will respect their opinion. Which, of course, menas that he freaks out and swears at them when they tell him he's not great. They actually try to give him some advice saying there's a voice in there somewhere but he has to do a lot of work. He keeps interrupting and trying to sing. Mary tells him to find some humility. He won't stop and security escorts him out and he swears at them and then says Mary can't sing a lick. The last audition from Larry who sings his own original song "Pants on the Ground." It's ridiculous and he's clearly outside the age range but it's pretty funny. (He's 62). 25 folks overall got golden tickets.

"American Idol" - "Chicago" - Jan. 19, 2010 We're in the Windy City and as usual - you guessed it - there are some good singers, some bad ones, some good sports and some cursing jerks. Shania Twain is our guest judge. First up is Katelyn whose mom wanted her to try out. We meet mom and hear all about her recent, shocking divorce and how it's ruined the family. They're hoping this will start a new chapter for the family. She sings "Syrup and Honey" by Duffy well enough to get four yes's. A local tour guide talks a bit about Chicago. Next is perky chubby girl Amy who has a crush on Ryan. For some reason she collapses before singing "Dr. Feelgood." She then pushes her boobs out. She's not a vocal trainwreck but they can't take her seriously. They say no. We get a montage of people supporting their friends. We then meet young Charity. She sings for the clients in her parents hair salon. She's 16 but seems even younger as she sings "Summertime." She gets four yes's. We get a montage of awful singers and people dressed up in silly costumes. We then get a montage of rejects leaving in tears and cursing at the cameras. Angela is auditioning for the third time. When she made it to Hollywood week in season 7, her dad died. In season 8 Hollywood week she had to quit because of a court date due to a traffic violation. She sings "Just Fine" and they think it's more than that and gets four yes's. We get a montage of 7 others who got golden tickets. It's day two and we get more of the same. First up is Curly who massacres "This Woman's Work" by Kate Bush via Maxwell and is roundly rejected by a quartet of laughing judges. He leaves before they can even say no. Alannah is no better even though they try to help her by telling her to sing in a lower key. She pretends that she doesn't understand what this means. We get a black and white silent movie style montage of rejects. Brian was in the army and says he entertained his fellow soldiers. He sings Tiny Tim's "Tiptoe Through the Tulips." He swears it was not a joke. He gets four no's. Harold is tired of microwave dinners and thinks if he gets on "Idol" he will be able to eat steak. He gets four no's and tries to blame his allergies and breaks down crying. Montage of bad singers. John is a college student but he wants to express himself musically. He can sing. And Shania is apparently in love with him. Four yes's. Paige has serious asthma problems and was near death at one point. She does an okay version of "A Change is Gonna Come." She gets three yes's. Simon says no. We get a montage of dudes. Gary, Justin, and Marcus all get a golden ticket. 13 people in all got put through.

"American Idol" - "Auditions: Orlando" - Jan. 20, 2010 We are in the land of Mickey Mouse and bad singers. Tonight's guest judge is Kristin Chenoweth. First up is flamboyant Theo who has a cape and feathers and, of course, a terrible voice as he wrecks Pat Benatar's "Heartbreaker." Loudly. They all shake hands though after the four no's. We get a montage of rejects and people in costume. And also Kristin and Kara are all giggly and talking about girl power, which is annoying Simon. More reject montages with Simon's criticisms. And then there was Seth a father of two small children, one with autism. We see a bit of his home life and his son. He sings "Someone to Watch Over Me" nicely and with a sweet touch of melancholy. Four yes's. Another montage of auditioners in the room, the hotel, out in the crowd. Then we get a montage of no's and tears and a few yes's. Jermaine is back for a second chance, as he auditioned in season 7. He sings "Smile" really well. Simon thanks him very much indeed. Kristin loves him. Randy calls him his favorite from this whole audition season. Kara believed it. Simon thinks the chicks will like him. Four yes's. The final contestant of day one is Shelby who has a slight paralysis on one side of her face since birth but she's setting aside her insecurity to go for it. She sings "Turn Me On" by Norah Jones. (Simon wishes her luck in a nice touch). She sounds pretty good, kinda twangy and country-ish. She forgets the words and accidentally swears, but sweetly. They think she has potential. Four yes's. 18 others made it from day one and we get a montage of some of them getting their tickets and celebrating. Day Two brings more of the same except there is no guest judge since Kristin had to go back to New York. Kara gives the room a pep talk. Jay is very excited and beatboxes his way through "Come Together." The beatboxing is impressive but he's not much of a singer. Simon says he is now soaking wet. Kara says it was yes since it was hilarious. Randy aks if he can actually sing, he says yes and busts into Bill Withers' "Ain't No Sunshine" with Kara and Randy beatboxing. Simon says no. Kara says yes. Randy, as always, caves, and says yes. We get a montage of women dancing. And then a bunch of female singers Janell, Brittany, and Kasi who all get golden tickets. Then we meet Cornelius who is also "dancer" who learned from his friends who are strippers. He sings "Proud Mary" - which he calls "Rollin'"- and does a crazy split and rips his pants wide open. He only sings a little bit but they all say yes because they thought he was funny. Sisters Bernadette and Amanda run a hair salon. And as usual one of them is better than the other, Bernadette who sings "Hit the Road Jack" to her sister's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody." But in this case not by much. But it doesn't matter they get three yes's, even though Simon would've said no to Amanda. And then there's Jared who's talking about enthusiasm and passion in a very laconic, stoner voice. He then mangles "Amazing Grace." Three no's. He keeps trying to sing until security steps in and escorts him out. He is actually arrested outside. He says God will take him out of the cuffs. The final contestant is Matt who got into some trouble, by robbing a bank with a BB gun, when he was 15. He was locked up for four years and is very remorseful. He wants to make his family proud. He sings "Trouble" by Ray LaMontagne and has a similar smoky, raspy voice. Simon calls him brilliant. They like that he's authentic. They call him one of the best. Kara predicts he's going to go top 12. He gets three yes's. In total 31 folks got golden tickets.

"American Idol" - "Auditions - Los Angeles" - Jan. 26, 2010 Folks are lined up at the Rose Bowl. We see Ryan on his radio show. He says 11,000 came out. Ryan talks about Hollywood, the epicenter of entertainment. Avril Lavigne is the first guest judge. First up is Neil who claims he's a genius and is kind of nerdy. He's full of total confidence so, of course, he can't sing. He demonstrates this by singing a Meatloaf song sorta, forgetting the words right away and then starting up again. He's not the worst ever but nothing special. He's also very sweaty. Simon says he's not suited to the business. Neil says he's not going anywhere, but Hollywood. He's insistent and desperate. Outside his parents say he's good under pressure. Simon asks if he wants to walk out on his own or with an escort. Neil leaves on his own. Avril thinks it was awkward. He thinks Idol really missed out. Jim is a worship pastor. We meet his wife and kids. He feels good and confident. He sings an original song called "Drive." It's country-ish. Simon likes his voice. Avril worries about him traveling on the road but likes his voice but still says no. So he gets three yes's. He's teary and happy. We see a montage of terrible people. Next is Damien who is a martial arts fanatic who demonstrates his skills. He makes sandwiches. He should stick to that given his workout of "You've Lost that Lovin' Feelin'." He hits a bad note and realizes. Simon says he should go. He does, upset with his choke. We get a montage of cute little kids. Mary has an 8-year-old daughter who loves Simon. She sings "Love is a Battlefield." She's fine. Simon likes her voice but not her look. Avril likes her raspy punk rock voice. Four yes's. We get a montage of Glamberts. Then we meet one who actually shopped a demo to him. His name is A.J. and he does a crazy version of "Cult of Personality." He can probably carry a tune just fine but he's got all these word affectations that he's putting on his voice. Avril Lavigne can't stop laughing. Four no's. Day Two, new judge Katy Perry. First up is Austin who is flamboyant and brash. He sings Cheap Trick's "Surrender" very theatrically, with a British accent, and not much finesse. Four no's. Then we get a montage of people responding poorly to rejection, lots of tears. Including someone who either is the crying girl from the Sanjaya season or looks just like her. Next is daddy and neck-tatooed Andrew whose parents grew up in gangs but moved him out of that environment. We meet them, they're very proud of him. He sings Maroon 5's "Sunday Morning," he's pretty good, raspy. Simon likes him and thinks he's the only one who's been a genuinely good singer. We meet Tasha who is a personal assistant by day and minister by night. She sings "Baby, Baby, Baby" by Joss Stone. She's also pretty good. Four yes's. Then the unfortunate Jason who is very dramatic and creepy. He then gets creepier with the Divinyls "I Touch Myself." He's bad and he does bad dance movements and he goofs the words. He tries to hit on Simon, creepily. Four no's. We get a montage of Kara and Katy disagreeing over several contestants. The final contestant is Chris a former foster child. He walks the trains tracks and talks about wanting to be loved and feeling secure in music. He's fine, good pitch control. Kara and Katy fight over Kara saying he has a good "story" since Katy says this isn't a Lifetime movie. He gets four yes's. (The ones from Simon and Katy are "small y's". ) 22 in all got golden tickets. We see a montage of yes's and celebrations.